When Mr Right Comes at the Wrong Time

This article is found in Life section on 31/1/05.
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When Mr Right comes at the wrong time


SOMETIMES, timing rather than love decides who we end up being with - or without.

Only some lucky people marry the loves of their lives. The rest marry the most suitable person who comes along when they are ready to settle down.

A friend in his 20s came to this conclusion after confiding in me that he had recently met a woman who is more attractive than his wife, and so occupies his thoughts more often than his wife does.

'If only I had met her before I got married,' he said wistfully.

But I think even if the love of one's life appears when one is single, one may not be in the right frame of mind to recognise him or her as such.

And then love passes by.

Life is littered with near misses and lost opportunities.

I attended my ex-boyfriend's wedding last month, which triggered many memories.

We met five years ago when I was 23 and he 31. It was love at first sight.

He had an established career, was down-to-earth and steadfastly religious.

I was then working as an air stewardess and my head was - literally and metaphorically - in the clouds.

I was also - well, let's put it this way - not religious.

Despite our differences, we were soulmates. We had the same quirky sense of humour and shared long, intense overnight conversations.

But human nature is perverse. When someone is excessively nice to us, we start taking things for granted, instead of appreciating them even more.

My ex sent me to the airport, fixed my PC, reminded me to take health supplements - and go to church.

He had everything I could want in a husband - except that I was not looking for one. A boyfriend was all I could cope with then.

I loved fast cars, danced wildly at Zouk and took off on shopping holidays at a whim. My life revolved around I, me and myself.

In the six months that we were together, he popped the question several times and talked ad nauseam about having children. He wanted us to enrol for a Christian marriage preparation course.

Yes, I did often fantasise about a Vera Wang wedding gown, but I was at that stage of my life when I was more interested in Guess than Baby Guess.

And where - dare I admit it? - I still wanted to meet other men.

So I was a 23-year-old with the emotional maturity of a 13-year-old. Responsibility? Wasn't that for adults?

In short, I met Mr Right at the wrong time.

The more he talked about marriage and religion, the more I felt pressured and the more pressured I felt, the more irritable I became.

I was too impatient to compromise. Every trivial matter blew up as a big deal. My mood obliterated the good in our relationship and reached a point where I just wanted out.

He was heartbroken; I was sad but relieved. He still called me regularly, beseeching me to change my mind.

The calls stopped finally after a year. Now and then, we say 'Hi' via e-mail.

I had a few painful relationships after that. Served me right, as those rude wake-up calls were necessary for me to realise the meaninglessness of my hedonistic high life.

I missed the tenderness of my ex and began having second thoughts.

Perhaps I also felt more urgency to find someone marriageable before my biological clock reached zero hour. It dawned on me that I am not a pixie like Peter Pan who can flit around forever. One day, I'd wake up sick and alone when my fair weather friends flit away.

But I was too proud and too unsure of my ex's reaction to call him until last year.

The first thing he told me excitedly was that he had found The One. My heart tumbled to my feet. So, that's Fate.

If only I could turn back time. If only I had met him later. If only... what feeble words.

These days, I am more circumspect. I have come to terms with my loss. there is nothing I can do about timing, but I can do everything about my choices.

Sometimes, when the nights get lonely, I toy with the idea of marrying a platonic friend of mine, who often assures me earnestly that, if the worst comes to the worst, he'd be willing to marry me.

But I always dismiss that. I have already made one mistake. I should not make another by settling for second best merely for the sake of getting hitched - only to regret it soon after, as the guy who confided in me did.

Hopefully, the best is not over but yet to be.

The Dream...

I spy with my eye, a dreamy resort: Soneva Kiri by Six Senses, located in Thailand.

Just looking at the photos, I can't help but to think of how romantic it would be, how good it would be to stay there, or even better, being proposed to while on a holiday there...

How could one say 'No' after being brought to a secluded beach in a private jet and being totally relaxed in a private and romantic place? I know for sure that I won't (provided that I can see a future with the other party).

Of all the accommodation types that they have, the one that I like most is the Beach Villa Suite, which has a absolutely dreamy bedroom:



Followed by the Cliff Villa Suite, which has got a very interesting bathroom:



For a 3D2N stay, it'll be around USD6000 (aft taxes) for the Beach Villa Suite! *GASP*

For more info about the resort, check out the fact sheet.

And guess what? They have private residences too, priced between US$4.5M - US$7.5M... *DOUBLE GASP*

Maybe that shall be on my list of dream holiday homes? Lolz... =)

Love Gives Love Takes

What makes you fear LOVE? I think the following sums it up for me perfectly...

The Corrs: Love Gives Love Takes



Just when I thought I was safe,
You found me in my hiding place,
I'd promised never again
I wouldn't give my heart, but then
Closer, closer I moved near you
The way I want you makes me fear you

Love breaks and love divides
Love laughs and love can make you cry
I can't believe the ways
That love can give
And love can take away

I find it hard to explain
It's crazy, but it's happening
And I'm falling again
Much further than I've ever been
I'm falling deeper than the ocean
I am lost in this emotion

Love breaks and love divides
Love laughs and love can make you cry
I can't believe the ways
That love can give
And love can take away

Ahh Oh yeah x3

Love can give
And love can take away

Love breaks and love divides
Love laughs and love can make you cry
love can make you cry I can't believe the ways
That love can give
And love can take away
Love breaks and love divides
Love laughs and love can make you cry
I can't believe the ways
That love can give
And love can take away

I, not II

In case you were wondering, no, I did not head down to the COMEX 2009 to get my X Mini II.

I got the previous model X-Mini at Guardian instead, and it was 2 for the price of 1 (X-Mini II)!

So, being the price conscious me, of course I get the cheaper deal (while spending). =P

X-Mini II

I know what I want from Comex 2009! Presenting, the X-Mini II Capsule Speaker!



Beautiful, isn't it? ;) Price wise $45.90, I guess it's worth it? Lolz… Well, I do need a portable speaker (after mine has spoilt), for my movies and all, so why not?

Now hat I've seen someone selling it for $38-42, I'm now wavering on thoughts to purchase it at Comex...